an assemblage of my madness, and some poems
Who Present, Past & Future Sees
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A brief description of how I understand existence
Birth: Physical awakening. We begin to form clusters of knowledge that come into our minds through our associations at first, and then through our perceptions and beliefs later. These perceptions and beliefs are based on a body of knowledge we already have. We slowly become aware of things around us through our senses, connecting one element to another until a whole is formed. For example, our association of an orange exists because we recognize what it looks like, what it smells like, what colour it is, what shape it is etc. All of these factors together make up a specific point in time that we are certain of, perhaps because it is tested on all the levels of awareness we are familiar with, and these specific points in time create the cognitive maps in which we live our lives. As George Orwell agrees, knowledge is power. The way in which we treat something depends on the apparent knowledge of the entity and where that knowledge lies within our cognitive maps or spatialzation in relation to and in context of everything else, on an individual level of which we are aware. It is important at this point to consider that all of the knowledge we hold has not been sought out by us individually, however it has been fed to us from a force greater than the power of our minds themselves. Societal constructs (school, family, all distinct social situations, prison systems, etc.) deliver to us the boundaries in which everything exists. TIME is one of these constructs or boundaries we live within. Time contains us. It contains our apparentness, our awareness, our knowledge and our consciousness. We live in a map of our own consciousness, and we have the ability to choose what we see so long as we recognize that seeing is not believing. Interpretation is NOT excavation of real meaning. Life: Considering that knowledge is power, and that we are all separate entities that are able to recognize the constructs of institutions, including our own bodies, it would be wise to consider that even what we call ‘freedom’ lies within the constructs of what we call ‘knowledge’; a self-evidence of what is ‘real’. Similarly, knowledge starts with rules and constraints, not freedom. If we were able to recognize the constructs of the institutions and world we live in fully – with complete freedom and therefore complete truth – then would we have the ability to escape that form, or are we doomed to live a life of structure because that is what we know to be real? There is no freedom in life. In his book The Outsider, Albert Camus says, ‘the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion’ This highlights the strange phenomenon of feeling limited within a limitless world. It is the body, in this place in this point of time, which holds us into the shape we can’t escape. We are the center of our own realities. We cannot escape that. ‘Infinite love is the only truth, everything else is illusion’, these words written by Robert Icke explain that what you give out from your soul is the only thing you can rely upon, as truth. Of course, everything else is illusion, simply electrical impulses from our brain constructing our world in a reality based upon how we perceive it with our 5 senses. The most solid surface is full of massive holes at the subatomic level. Death: In order to create and expand knowledge and the world and your reality, by getting back to the essence of pure life, there needs to be a certain destruction of the walls that surround us…the walls of what we call knowledge. On top of that, control and discipline act as intangible boundaries in which we live our lives. The points in space in which we connect to form maps to experience the world, are held within the boundaries of time. Without time, we would be limitless. We would expand to be the universe. In death there is true freedom. Without times arrow our consciousness would be capable of growing in any direction, all at once in fact across all planes (look up Hadit and Nuit) and visiting any point without restriction. From stardust we came and to stardust we go. |
Love is the Law, Love under Will
— Aleister Crowley
I read this from A. Crowley’s Book Of The Law.
It essentially means that all the evil doing in the world comes from people who are not in-tune with their love, which rules their will. This Love could be universal, it could be the guiding energy of life. Infinite love is the only truth, everything else is illusion. Instead, people are guided by rules they follow, doctrines and influence from ‘higher’ societal power.
I am very much interested in Freedom, Free Will and True Will and conceptual constructs.
A. Crowley coined the term True Will from his writings more than 100 years ago. From my understanding, True Will runs perpendicularly and in perfect harmony with Nature. It implies that there is a higher force, or a connection we have access of from our higher-selves, who are waves in the river of time. It is separate from our conscious experience. In this way it differs from Free Will, as Freedom is a made up concept that doesn’t exist here in life. Free Will is the ability to navigate through our conscious experience, it is the doctrine that humans choices are not predetermined. However True Will suggests that if we were ever to escape life and contact the divine, we would have to reject all constructs in which we find ourselves, consciously and physically, and follow our hearts so to speak to Harmony and Peace. The rhythm and flow of life curses through every aspect of existence imaginable. It runs fast and slow, has tangents, ebbs and waves. Even our bodies, eyes and voices reflect these rhythms, and by touching our own wrists we can actually feel the universal beat of our blood - Lawrence Blair (Rhythms of Vision). If we sync in with the inherent flow of things, to Mother Nature and Mother Universe, we will float down the river that adds momentum to the ever expanding absolute freedom - endless, limitless, definitive-less life.
There is only freedom in death.
— Aleister Crowley
I read this from A. Crowley’s Book Of The Law.
It essentially means that all the evil doing in the world comes from people who are not in-tune with their love, which rules their will. This Love could be universal, it could be the guiding energy of life. Infinite love is the only truth, everything else is illusion. Instead, people are guided by rules they follow, doctrines and influence from ‘higher’ societal power.
I am very much interested in Freedom, Free Will and True Will and conceptual constructs.
A. Crowley coined the term True Will from his writings more than 100 years ago. From my understanding, True Will runs perpendicularly and in perfect harmony with Nature. It implies that there is a higher force, or a connection we have access of from our higher-selves, who are waves in the river of time. It is separate from our conscious experience. In this way it differs from Free Will, as Freedom is a made up concept that doesn’t exist here in life. Free Will is the ability to navigate through our conscious experience, it is the doctrine that humans choices are not predetermined. However True Will suggests that if we were ever to escape life and contact the divine, we would have to reject all constructs in which we find ourselves, consciously and physically, and follow our hearts so to speak to Harmony and Peace. The rhythm and flow of life curses through every aspect of existence imaginable. It runs fast and slow, has tangents, ebbs and waves. Even our bodies, eyes and voices reflect these rhythms, and by touching our own wrists we can actually feel the universal beat of our blood - Lawrence Blair (Rhythms of Vision). If we sync in with the inherent flow of things, to Mother Nature and Mother Universe, we will float down the river that adds momentum to the ever expanding absolute freedom - endless, limitless, definitive-less life.
There is only freedom in death.
Nuit and HaditNuit is the Ancient Egyptian goddess of the sky, eternally beautiful. She is Eternity, pure momentum and potentiality both as it blossoms in the physical reality and as it resides beyond embodiment.
I came across Nuit and her male counter part Hadit whilst researching. Before my discovery of them, i had been perplexed and mesmerised by the ‘direction’ of time and existence. There is a phenomena in which i somehow became aware of, and it boils down quite simple to a maths equation however one that cannot be answered..
Existence is open ended, perhaps like a question who’s answer is only relevant to each individual consciousness addressing the means. In order to accurately understand something and know what it’s essence is, we must know what it is made up of - it’s history, context and point of realization. The further we delve into this exploration of associations, the further we seem to grasp - just like expanding a bracketed equation to understand the answer.
eg: (∞)=life
With further digging, even though we are moving towards a seemingly real ‘point’ or ‘answer’, there is just more and more sand piling up around the edges. We move deeper, and the equation gets bigger by expansion.
Nuit represents this expansion. She is the infinitely expanding circle who’s circumference is unmeasurable and who’s centre is everywhere. ‘Note that Heaven is not a place where Gods live, Nuit is Heaven, itself’ - Aleister Crowley, The Book Of The Law
Hadit is Nuit’s male counterpart. He is the infinitely small point within the core of every single thing. He represents each unique point-experience. These point-experiences in aggregate comprise the sum of all possible experience, Nuit.
I came across Nuit and her male counter part Hadit whilst researching. Before my discovery of them, i had been perplexed and mesmerised by the ‘direction’ of time and existence. There is a phenomena in which i somehow became aware of, and it boils down quite simple to a maths equation however one that cannot be answered..
Existence is open ended, perhaps like a question who’s answer is only relevant to each individual consciousness addressing the means. In order to accurately understand something and know what it’s essence is, we must know what it is made up of - it’s history, context and point of realization. The further we delve into this exploration of associations, the further we seem to grasp - just like expanding a bracketed equation to understand the answer.
eg: (∞)=life
With further digging, even though we are moving towards a seemingly real ‘point’ or ‘answer’, there is just more and more sand piling up around the edges. We move deeper, and the equation gets bigger by expansion.
Nuit represents this expansion. She is the infinitely expanding circle who’s circumference is unmeasurable and who’s centre is everywhere. ‘Note that Heaven is not a place where Gods live, Nuit is Heaven, itself’ - Aleister Crowley, The Book Of The Law
Hadit is Nuit’s male counterpart. He is the infinitely small point within the core of every single thing. He represents each unique point-experience. These point-experiences in aggregate comprise the sum of all possible experience, Nuit.
And so i spent so much time looking into his eyes and also recognising that he was looking at me, and so this cyclical nature of our vision for each other became abundantly clear, and it's motion sort of gathered momentum and i was all of a sudden able to justify my existence. I felt in that space between our eyes, in our collective line of vision, we could exist with such clarity, because i was able to see myself objectively and subjectively, and him as well.